Me and my mum spoke about the “natural Hair movement” and the fact that we see so many styles on so many different types of hair now. My mum said she wish we had cards to give out to woman that simply complimented their hair and showed our appreciation. I’m not confident enough to walk up to a stranger and tell them that their hair looks good, but the idea of giving someone a card makes it easier lol….creepy and random, but definitely easier.
During my time in school I thought it was completely normal for black girls to have relaxed hair. I myself did not have relaxed hair, but I quickly noticed that it was a common thing amongst young black girls. I didn’t really pay much attention to the hair drama, but I understood the difference between what was seen as good hair and what was seen as bad hair, especially during secondary school. The closer it is to straight or even loose curls the better, tighter curls and kinky hair wasn’t appreciated (especially if it was short).
I found myself wishing my hair was silky, smooth and flat. Once I was in control of my hair, I would straighten it as much as I could. I thought hair that laid flat looked better than hair that stood up.
I got sucked into the idea that looser curls looked better and that good hair was hair with length. I remember feeling jealous when my friends would take their hair out of their buns and their hair would touch their shoulders.
What was their secret? What products do they use? Why doesn’t my hair grow like that?
Fast forward to today…
I see black girls with the tightest of curls, rocking the most angelic hairstyles I’ve ever seen. I find myself admiring and falling in love with hair that was once considered “nappy”, as if “nappy hair” is a bad thing. Look at all the styles that can be created with or without length… just with the hair God has given you, just as it is… I’m beyond proud.
My happiness stems from these natural women who have no idea what they’re doing when they simply embrace themselves. The next generations are going to grow up feeling as if natural hair is as normal as it should be. They won’t question their hair, hate their hair or hide their hair. They will love it because the men and women today, right now… love their hair.
The standard of beauty regarding hair in the black community is changing. There’s little black girls and boys growing up in a world where they’re able to get a whole host of products and styles just from the Internet.
It’s so sad that it’s taken me this long to fully appreciate and love my hair and black hair in general. I’m no longer longing for curls like someone else, I’m now looking at what works for my hair.
What does my hair need in order to do the best that it can do?
It’s funny how I spent so much time trying to make my hair do what it isn’t really able to do, and now I’m enjoying finding out what it can actually do and it so rewarding. I sometimes take a second to take it all in… Like this is my hair and it can do all of this….It’s definitely magical and I refuse to let anyone tell me it’s not. I spent so long thinking my hair must lay flat In order to fit in, and now I want my hair to stand tall, so I can stand out.
I no longer get annoyed when the back of my hair doesn’t curl like the front, I’m not checking for length, I’m checking the thickness and moisture .
I’m influenced and inspired by other naturals. We can see what other naturals are doing and using easily. We can ask questions, read reviews and sample products for ourselves.
It’s a journey, it can be slightly costly when you’re figuring out what works for you and your hair but it’s so worth it. To get to a place where you know what works and your hair just continues to thank you for it.
It’s like a sigh of relief, a relaxing exhale
By Saabrinah Lawrence