Relationships require a range of ingredients to make them function, much like a cake. Flour, Icing, Butter, Communication, Trust and Respect, just to name a few. In 2017 relationships and unions are built from the most amazing circumstances i.e. abroad, while studying, travelling and online. There is something romantic about knowing you met someone in this circumstance by chance. But wanting to be together is just not enough when there is a long distance between you.
In the past I would automatically dismiss the words ‘Long distance relationship’, ‘what does that even mean?’ I would think to myself ‘nope, never, not for me.’ but as I have grown, loved and experienced I now realise that I was nothing but scared. scared of being alone, scared of not being able to have my own way, scared of not understanding and scared of trust. I believe I am still a little scared of trust to be completely honest. I can’t even trust myself to make good decisions and yet I am supposed to trust another human being not to break my heart. Despite all of the difficulties long distance relationships can work if you want them to, here’s how.
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Establishing intentions from the beginning can help to eliminate any awkward moments in the future. If you are in a long distance relationship discuss boundaries so both you and your partner know what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationship. Talk about whether either of you are open to moving in the future, discuss how important the small things are like phone calls and text messages. Talk about how much time you would like to spend together despite the distance, this will ensure you are both on the same page whether you are 5 minutes or 5 miles away.
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
Let’s be real, struggles will be faced in any relationship, it’s inevitable but that’s what makes them amazing, you overcome obstacles together as a team. Long distance relationships cause for maturity and patience. You tend to miss someone more just because you know that if you wanted to see them you can’t. While your relationship may be a little less spontaneous there are ways to ensure you have the best time in your relationship together or apart. Plan your time together so that you maximise every hour together, tick things off of your bucket list, have fun. It’s 2017 and FaceTime is by no means a replacement for physical but do what you can where you can.
WHY IT IS OK TO TRUST
Trust sounds a lot more easier than it is apply. Any bond requires some level of trust to remain strong. In a long distance relationship it is important to remember that it isn’t just about your partner showing you that they are trustworthy but also about you showing them. Make it easy on each other by talking regularly, keeping each other in the loop about daily plans and don’t over question or analyse situations, let them be. If your partner tells you they are going out with their friends then that is what you must trust and believe until they give you a reason not to. Trusting in your partner before doubting is crucial.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, although a common human fault in 2017, also known as the ‘Social Media Age’ is making everything seem it is flawless. We must realise that every relationship has its faults, for example Brand and Angelina, no one would have ever expected there to be trouble in paradise. There is no such thing as ‘#Relationship Goals’ our main goal in life should not be to find the perfect person but to find the person that compliments your flaws and encourages you to go further in life and to aim high. Regardless of whether your partner is near or far, love is a feeling that comes from within the soul and it doesn’t have to be physical or sexual. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, communication is key.
Shay RS x