For as long as I could remember,
I knew I was different but I didn’t know why.
Was it because of the color of my skin?
Was it because of my likes and dislikes?
Was it because of my religious beliefs?
Was it because of quiet/awkward personality?
With all these pounding questions left circling in my mind,
I began to keep the real me inside and showcase an “alternative”
version to the people I surrounded myself with just to be accepted.
It wasn’t until I moved to another location.
A location where people celebrate and embrace each other’s uniqueness.
Being around those type of people allowed me to embrace the real me.
The awkward/goofy/unique me
The positive/kind soul me
The Afro loving me.
The young/creative/black/muslim girl that I am.
I would watch shows such as Insecure.
It made things easier for me to see myself in each of the characters.
One showing my awkwardness in certain situations. (Issa)
Another showing my fearless power of success and pursuing my goals. (Molly)
As I would watch the episodes, week by week, I would gain inspiration and motivation on discovering who I really am and begin to embrace myself more and more.
Yet, I would still use my “alternative” as a cover because I wasnt ready to accept myself.
Although It has taken its time, I can now let go of all the negativity that once clouded my mind and immerse myself into accepting myself, with no judgments and hiding behind a cover.
The advice I leave you with is …….
The real you is much greater than your “alternative”.
Our “alternatives” may help us for a short while.
But it is just a mask we use to bury our inner self and it may allow us to get lost in this persona and even, forget the real us.
But the real us is found deep within ourselves.
We just need to find them, embrace and celebrate them with no judgment from the other people that may allow us to doubt who we really are.
So join me in saying …
“ This is me.
This is who I really I am and I will not shy away from any longer.
I will embrace and celebrate it with others around me, who appreciate me.
If some people don’t like it, then they are missing out on an exceptional person.”
Happy Black History Month
Azza GasimOwner/Blogger at UrbanistaMobile UK : 077 205 40 389Twitter : @azza_urbanista