“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”
― Muhammad Ali
Friends are second to family for some they may even regard their friends as family. And if you think about it your first friends are usually those related to you cousins brothers even your parents. For many you could regard them as being integral parts of our journey. I remember times feeling all alone. Yet still surrounded by many. I was out of place. I was yearning for something, acceptance perhaps. But I’d never compromise who I was just to be friends with people who weren’t like me, didn’t share my beliefs or aspirations. I was lost I’d say.
My dad used to always tell me “your brothers are your friends, leave these outside people”. I never took that statement seriously but took it upon myself to have my own interpretation of that. My siblings were indeed my siblings but at the time did I regard them as friends? No. I mean the age gaps weren’t that major but I guess I felt we couldn’t relate because we weren’t age mates. The grass roots of going to a boys school in which a sense of brotherhood had formed gave me another view as to what friends are. Family . My brothers are my friends and my friends I regarded as my brothers. This applies to my female friends too, can’t forget my sisters. Friends are important. I found a group of friends, like minded people what we used to call “gang”. Lets take away the negative connotations associated with the word gang, we were never an actual gang but a group of close friends who separated themselves I guess. Being around true friends means being around people who actually care. In your times of needs and comfort, you won’t be endlessly searching for who can provide that comfort. It’s a two way street. Not everyone can play this role. So picking the correct friends is important.
With over 270,000 people in nearly 100 countries, author William Chopik found that both family and friend relationships were associated with better health and happiness overall
I used to have anger problems, if there was an issue all I’d see was red, which led to me abusing friends. I was on the verge of losing these friendships I treasured. I couldn’t even articulate my problems. Until one day one of my close friends sat me down and told me straight up about my toxic behaviour, it was an eye opener. A lot of people would just say that’s them, “that’s how he is”, which is why we always need someone checking us even though we perhaps can’t see our toxicity . I made that change and it provided me with growth. That’s one thing the holy bible doesn’t fail to mention those who we don’t label as mentors or advisers but are, your friends. When we fall we always need a helping hand to rise again. Friends.
I bet you’ve told your “friends” about your ideas or aspirations, and they’ve been downplayed. It’s alright. Not everyone will see the vision. Some friends may be multifaceted, you know those you can talk to about any and everything. But not everyone will have this quality and it’s something you shouldn’t get worked up about . There’s friends for different things. Some will get it, some won’t. What’s key is to have those friends that sees that vision. That understand that idea and perhaps even add to it. Iron sharpens iron.
Friendship is not a game and you can’t classify everyone as a friend, it’s a word we use so loosely but is such a powerful title. Not everyone can be your friend.